I think we have to occasionally step back and look at what activities we engage in and ask ourselves why we do them. We engage in many different activities to satisfy a certain desire. We do things for joy, money, spiritual fulfillment, etc.
It has really gotten to the point where I look at myself playing poker and I can objectively say I'm wasting my time and I shouldn't be playing. Poker has been solely money for me. I derived close to no enjoyment playing the game itself. Without the cash I would not play. It is purely work for me. I'm sure this is one of the reasons that I've never made it big.
Poker as a job is fucking hard. Don't ever think it is not. Right now I have what would be thought of as a high-stress job: lawyer in a corporate law firm. But believe me, its a fucking cake walk. I shoot the shit with co-workers, do some work, shoot the shit with secretaries, do some work, go to lunch, then repeat the process. Then about 7pm I go home and get pats on my back for working so hard. I walk into work and I ALWAYS get paid. I can quietly sit in my office and never tilt and ALWAYS get paid. I can do zombie work for about 4 hours and rather than lose 1k for it I get paid.
I never walk out of work thinking I'm lower than a piece of shit. I never walk out of work thinking I'm an untouchable god. I just walk out thinking I'm a dude who went to work at a better than average job. Sometimes I have a bad day but it quickly passes. Sometimes I have a good day and it doesn't really pass for a while. After playing poker for years this is VERY welcome. I don't think I even have to explain the emotional swings to people here BC you know them and see them daily.
Anyway, returning to the money. In my shoes, I don't see that I can really effectively manage a job and play poker on the side in today's climate. I don't feel like I can make 200/hr which is about the figure that would justify the extra effort. I would probably realistically make 50-75 an hour. After taxes that'd be like 25-35 an hour. My job offers bonuses for overtime worked that would probably equate to about the same per hour. If I work more at my job I secure higher placement, less stress, easier work, and a more relaxed and easy life style. So I think its a no brainer. I've also been staffed on some pretty big projects that are actually interesting and preferable to poker.
It isn't like poker is without its benefits. One thing that is gonna suck is knowing that you'll make X next year and never more. You'll have to work M-F and never be able to randomly take weeks off or work whenever you feel like it. I will really miss that aspect. I'm a grinder though so grinding it out on a daily basis won't really bother me.
Prior to poker I was heavily into weightlifting. I got fairly strong. As a gauge for those of you into it: I lifted 100LB dumbells on bench and squatted 290 for reps. I basically dropped that completely for poker. Now that I am financially secured in one aspect I think I will throw extra time efforts that way.
Anyway... for those of you who have lasted this long into my rant who live in San Diego/LA who want to trade cash for FTP $ hit me up. For those of you who are still here what should I spend 650k FTPs on? I'm cashing out everything.
LP Store | Login | Register
